Beware of the pleasant view of the fatherhood of God: God is so kind and loving that of course He will forgive us. That thought, based solely on emotion, cannot be found anywhere in the New Testament. The only basis on which God can forgive us is the tremendous tragedy of the Cross of Christ. To base our forgiveness on any other ground is unconscious blasphemy. The only ground on which God can forgive our sin and reinstate us to His favor is through the Cross of Christ. There is no other way! Forgiveness, which is so easy for us to accept, cost the agony at Calvary. We should never take the forgiveness of sin, the gift of the Holy Spirit, and our sanctification in simple faith, and then forget the enormous cost to God that made all of this ours.

Forgiveness is the divine miracle of grace. The cost to God was the Cross of Christ. To forgive sin, while remaining a holy God, this price had to be paid. Never accept a view of the fatherhood of God if it blots out the atonement. The revealed truth of God is that without the atonement He cannot forgive— He would contradict His nature if He did. The only way we can be forgiven is by being brought back to God through the atonement of the Cross. God’s forgiveness is possible only in the supernatural realm.

Compared with the miracle of the forgiveness of sin, the experience of sanctification is small. Sanctification is simply the wonderful expression or evidence of the forgiveness of sins in a human life. But the thing that awakens the deepest fountain of gratitude in a human being is that God has forgiven his sin. Paul never got away from this. Once you realize all that it cost God to forgive you, you will be held as in a vise, constrained by the love of God.

Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest

Q- For instance, there’s a school of thought that requires repentance from our offender before we are required to forgive. This thinking argues that even God waits for us to repent before He will forgive us.

A- Strongly disagree with this. Jesus Christ died for the whole world, everyone ever born, alive or ever to be born. He died while we were mocking him and treating him like a cockroach and he said “Father forgive them.” There was no whiff of a condition or requirement of a move on our part. This is unilateral unconditional forgiveness.

Q- (In fact, He waits for us not only to repent, but also to forgive others before we can be forgiven.)

A- You should not link these two premises together, they do not fit nor do they conform as joined to scripture.

The first premise that he waits for us to repent first was addressed above correctly I think.

The second premise is true. We must forgive others of their sins against us or we shall not be forgiven. There must be in us a merciful forgiving spirit put there  by God, which will be a complete reflection of Him. It is a reminder and witness that we are forgiven by him.

If we fail to reflect that nature then we have no more part of Him nor in our forgiveness from Him and we cancel out His grace and return our former low e state by consciously and purposefully rejecting the very forgiveness freely given to us. He never stops the flow of forgiveness. We stop it by refusing to give it freely to others. We are trampling underfoot  the Son of God.

Hebrews 10:29  How much more severely do you think someone deserves to be punished who has trampled the Son of God underfoot, who has treated as an unholy thing the blood of the covenant that sanctified them, and who has insulted the Spirit of grace?

Q- But another school says that while repentance may be required for reconciliation, it is not required for forgiveness. All that forgiveness takes is one heart willing to let the hurt go and be free. This school says that even if the other party is unrepentant, it is critical that we let go of resentment TO PROTECT OURSELVES.                                                                             

 A- I strongly agree with this.

Q- Sometimes, the other party has died and it’s too late for them to repent. In this case, it is said that we must forgive anyway, for our OWN sake-to free us from the deadly hurt of resentment regardless of others’ actions. This has always made good sense to me.

 A- I strongly agree with this.

Q- But does God do that? If we die and it’s too late for us to repent, are WE forgiven anyway? It doesn’t seem so.

A- If we die in an unrepentant state we suffer the unbridled judgment of God. But that is His judgment and His alone and it is perfect as He is perfect and we can trust it completely.

Q- Back to the first school of thought: would God require that we be more generous when it comes to forgiveness than He is?                                                                                                                          

A- We cannot be more generous than Him because we have nothing to offer but what we receive from Him. But we should give all that we have received from Him and do it unilaterally and unconditionally. That’s how we received it.